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To Hell With Story — Sometimes I Just Wanna Win!

These days respectable video-game reviewers are not supposed to enjoy Call of Duty. If you want to be taken seriously as a mature fan of video games, you must disdain competitive multiplayer and bemoan the ubiquity of first-person shooters. But allow me to say: Screw you!

I love online multiplayer shooters, and for several weeks I’ve been trying to explain precisely why. I think I’ve figured it out.

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Feminist Frequency and Guy Gamers

You all know that I don’t usually bring my politics into the world of Veteran Gamers, at least not without someone asking my opinion. But just this once I’m going to make an exception. Fortunately we’re a pretty enlightened bunch around here, so I hope you’ll forgive my intrusion.

A woman named Anita Sarkeesian runs a website called Feminist Frequency, which uses short videos to examine representations of women

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More Evidence that Steve Ballmer is a Crazy Person

Hopefully you all know already why Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is a certified lunatic. If not, watch this one-minute video:

Well, when Microsoft’s deal to buy Skype was announced, we got more proof:

“Will we sell a few more Kinects when we get these things hooked up? Yeah, I think so. Skype can help where we are in the enterprise by getting those customer bases to work well

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Who is Jesse Slaughter and What Does She Have to Do with Video Games?

Jessi Slaughter was an 11-year-old girl when she first rose to internet fame through the following video, which she posted on a fansite for the band Blood on the Dancefloor. Note the vulgar language and violent bravado.

When the video became widely known, some of the internet’s more troll-like individuals decided to challenge her claim that people “can’t faze me” and threats of “brain slushie”. So they started posting nasty messages to her and making hostile videos of their own.

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RockBand FAIL

It’s very frustrating when you fail for the third time on guitar.

Hey, you know what?

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Achievements Killed My Dog

DING! Achievement unlocked: agitated cat rescue. DING! You have earned a trophy: inappropriate salami use. Many behavioural psychologists would wring their hands in glee at the potential fees just waiting to be garnered from a generation of gamers driven almost to the heights of obsessive-compulsive mania by a digitised recognition for an in-game activity that, in the wider scale of the cosmos, is essentially meaningless. Before I get a little too existentialist, let me ask: are achievements and trophies a complete waste of time and energy? DING! Achievement unlocked: pretentious introduction 10G.

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Support the Virtual Troops

On this week’s show, I inflicted yet another rap track of mine on the world, all about video games. I mentioned too that I had done a video at one time, so here it is. Enjoy!

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