Surface Lizard

[bowie]

You silver tongued serpent you. Just had to say you make me laugh man. I love your dry, opinionated and perfectly placed cynisism. Your voice suits your words, which is a quality suited to audible entertainment. That doesnt mean you have a face for radio....or does it...... Hmmmmm. Good Work man.

[Surface_Lizard]

Thanks for that!

I am as ugly as sin, however. I once had a fight with several rabid dashunds, and came off rather the worse. And then my mother set me on fire as she regretted ever giving birth to me. And then my face melted, like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I also take requests, as I am lazy. If you'd like a custom rant, let me know.

I see from your forum ID image that you know girls. Have you ever seen one naked? What do they look like. A friend of mine wants to know. Yes, a pathetic friend.

[cudmoro]

Not a real gamer if you have a friend, unless you only know them by gamertag and voice of course!

I reckon that girl is his sister...

[Surface_Lizard]

Well, I say 'friend', what I mean is a stolen shop mannuequin that I have dressed up, and drilled a hole to give her a blowjob mouth. Bit jagged, but Vaseline really helps.

It might not be his sister. On occasion, I pay women to pose in photos with me to make me look popular and charismatic.

Then again, he's in music, so it might be a groupie?

[bowie]

Ahh Surface lizard. My sweet, tail regenerating, short sighted reptilian friend. Alas, that distinctly average looking gentleman clutching said sister is not I. Infact the picture is nothing more than the result of a sweaty 3am trawl through steam profiles whose avatars held the slightest hint of the feminine form. I saw her and instantly fell in love. now she's mine courtesy of Valve and BT. So if for nothing else thank you, my forked tongue lord of the flies, for making my imaginary girlfriend a reality of a sister. I must point out her overwhelming beauty surpasses her lack physical presence, although vaseline (regrettably) is not required.

Friends? Boulder Dash! The rats in Uncle Fritzl's cellar provide me with all the love and maggot plagued dog food scraps a true gamer could ever need.

Now I must leave you with nothing more than a hollow farewell. I hear noises upstairs and my uncle is already months late. I wonder where he is.. oh well I guess that's micro dots and incest for you.....